Dogs on Instagram: the comparison trap

If you have a dog, chances are you're on social media. Maybe your dog even has its own account, like Jaina on Instagram. And you probably follow lots of creators who show off their dogs.

Let me say this straight away: this isn't a criticism of people who post photos or videos of their dogs on Instagram or TikTok. I do it too. But for me, social media holds a real danger for dog owners: comparison. And nobody is immune to it. Nobody.

We all have an "ideal dog" in mind

When you bring a puppy home, you want them to have the best possible life, to be happy, and you don't want to make any mistakes. So you picture what they'll be like as an adult:

• a sporty dog you'll go canicross running with;
• a family dog who loves children, always with you by the fire;
• a big couch potato, calm and always on the sofa;
• a travel buddy for trips to Italy or Norway;
• an agility champion leaping through hoops.

Social media helps us build that image. We see travellers, people winning competitions, ultra-photogenic dogs, nine-week-old puppies who already know 18 tricks, others doing acrobatics before they're even ten weeks old. And we think: "I'm going to do that too."

Having a goal with your dog is great. And seeing people show how they do it is really useful. That's not the problem.

The problem: comparing yourself to other people's best

The problem is constant comparison with people who are often at the top of their field, or who only show the very best of what they do.

If you have a dog, you know it: our dogs are amazing, they're the best, but not 100% of the time. Sometimes you call them and they don't come. You say "sit" and they run off the other way. You ask them to settle and they tear around. They pee on the sofa. They wake you up at night because they're bored and think it's funny.

A dog is an imperfect animal, just like us. And the ideal dog we compare ourselves to simply doesn't exist.

What you don't see on social media

Of course, there are extremely well-trained dogs with excellent trainers. Very balanced dogs. Dogs who do incredible things. But that's only a tiny part of their lives, and a tiny part of what we see.

We don't know whether the dog doing spins isn't bouncing off the walls and eating the sofa the rest of the day. We don't know whether the dog doing great tricks at home doesn't try to eat every dog it meets outside. Social media is, by definition, communication. It's never 100% reality.

I'm guilty too: I rarely film when Jaina is driving me up the wall. First because, well, she's driving me up the wall and I've got better things to do than get my camera out. Then because I'm busy handling the situation. Yet that would be the most realistic video of all.

My dog isn't perfect, and that's fine

Jaina is a great dog. People often tell me in the street: "Your dog is so calm!" It's true, and I work hard at it: it's the foundation of how I train her, because I want a dog I can take everywhere, to the office, to a family with kids.

And yet she isn't calm all the time. Sometimes she doesn't listen, sometimes she gets on my nerves. I adore her, that's not the point. But if I keep comparing myself to Instagram dogs, I'll feel useless. Then I'll think my dog is useless. Then that everything is useless. And I'll put myself under horrible pressure that does nobody any good.

The advice that helps me most

Before Jaina arrived, my wife and I watched a lot of videos from Esprit Dog, a French dog trainer, to prepare and avoid mistakes. I really like their style and recommend them if you speak French.

One message comes up again and again: even with lists, exercises and milestones not to miss, enjoy your dog. Even your not-so-ideal dog. When you enjoy them, you think: "OK, sometimes they mess up. That's fine. There's no such thing as a perfect dog."

The biggest danger of social media is comparing your dog with other people's, when you're comparing things that can't be compared. It's true of everything on social media, for that matter: our bodies, our lives… We shouldn't compare ourselves, even though it's very hard not to.

Why Quest.Dog has no leaderboard

While building Quest.Dog, I thought a lot about this question of comparison. In the app, you can complete quests, uncover the map and level up your dog in different families, all the way to a gold paw in the Water family, for example.

You can share all of that if you want. But there's no leaderboard between users, and there never will be. The point is for you to enjoy your dog and feel good about what you've done together: the little exercises, the little walks, the little discoveries. Comparing yourself to others is pointless. Truly.

Quest.Dog is available on the App Store: search for "Quest.Dog".

FAQ

Why do dogs on social media look perfect?

Because social media shows a selection: the best moments, the successful tricks, the beautiful photos. The mischief, the failed recalls and the bad days are rarely filmed.

Is it a problem if my dog doesn't do as much as Instagram dogs?

No. Every dog is different, and so is every owner. What matters is that your dog is happy and balanced in your life, not that they look like a video.

How do I stop comparing my dog to others?

Remember you only see a tiny part of other dogs' lives, set goals that suit your own dog, and focus on enjoying your time together rather than on performance.